One of the hallmarks of depression is the tendency to stay focused on painful or otherwise negative events. Sometimes these are memories, at other times the focus may be on imaginary situations. Either way, the depressed person is much more likely than the non-depressed to spend time ruminating on things that are damaging to a positive mood.
Our brains are wired to focus more on the negative things in life rather than the positive. So the tendency to ruminate on unpleasant memories is understandable, although not particularly helpful most of the time.
It also turns out that our brains use ‘feelings’ or ‘mood’, as an unconscious cue for retrieving memories that are consistent with that particular feeling state. This is referred to as ‘emotional tagging.’
For example, if you are happy it becomes easier to recall other happy times. You may have also noticed that when you are sad it is also much easier to recall sad events from the past.
This can lead to a downward spiral. A sad mood facilitates the recall of sad memories thereby worsening the dystopic perspective of life. This, in turn, leads to even greater mental access to other sad memories and thoughts which further entrenches the negative mood state.
Obsessively focusing on depressing memories, dysphoric expectations, and critical thoughts about present circumstances cause many folks to get stuck in their depressive state of mind.
It can feel impossible to break free from the grip of this swirling eddy of despair.
But contrary to what your feelings may be telling you, there are some well-known ways to stop these negative obsessions. (Don’t worry, it’s not just you, everyone’s feelings lie to them - often).
When effective countermeasures are taken to combat rumination, and consistently applied over time, the result most often is a lessening of depression and a greater sense of optimism, confidence, and joy.
Numerous approaches have been developed to help stop pernicious rumination.
Listed below are four strategies you can put to use today. To get the most out of these tools, try combining them rather than using just one.
Four Ways To Get Unstuck
Avoid What Triggers Your Negative Thinking
The best way to not spend a lot of time ruminating is to not start ruminating in the first place. Although no one can do this 100% of the time, it is possible to dramatically reduce how often you ruminate if you know what triggers these thoughts.
To find out keep a daily log of your activities. Do this for one week. Every hour make a note of how you have spent that time (e.g., getting ready for work, taking the kids to school, exercising, reading, etc.). Also, note how much of that time you have spent ruminating and on what were your thoughts focused.
When you review this log journal after a week you will very likely see that your ruminations are cropping up at certain times of the day, or during certain activities.
Some of these activities you may be able to alter so that they no longer prompt rumination. For example, if you find that your obsessive thinking occurs during your morning commute when you have nothing but traffic to focus on, take action: listen to books on tape, start a carpool, practice a foreign language during drive time, and so forth.
Self-Compassion Meditation
Expressing self-compassion for what troubles you, has been shown to be helpful in reducing the amount of time spent ruminating.
The leverage this exerts is brought about by reducing the distress associated with the thoughts one gets caught up focusing upon. Less distress means there is less demand to continue to turn it over in one’s mind.
Self-compassion should not be confused with self-pity, or excusing yourself from having any role in creating the difficult experiences upon which you ruminate (if you did have a role). Instead, it is the healthy middle ground that lies between unrelenting self-blame and perpetual complaints of how unfair the world has treated you.
One approach for practicing ‘self-compassion meditation’ is to imagine that a trusted friend is speaking to you about whatever troubles are the focus of your rumination. They express understanding, and importantly a compassionate attitude that is not condemning, but understanding and hopeful about the future.
Another approach is to write a letter to yourself but from the perspective of that same supportive, honest, and understanding friend.
Bolster Your Sense Of Competency
Some research suggests that bolstering a person’s sense of being competent results in reduced ruminations.
A 2014 study looked at changes in two groups of subjects who were faced with a difficult interpersonal confrontation that required assertiveness. One group was encouraged to focus on a the ‘why’ aspects of the problem (typical of rumination). The other group was tasked with focusing on the ‘how’ aspects of the problem (typical of problem solving).
The ruminators ended up being more avoidant than the problem solver group. On the other hand, the problem solving group ended up feeling more optimistic about their ability to resolve the issue.
The key to using this strategy is to actively seek out activities that you know, from past experience, lead to a sense of greater confidence. This may be a hobby, a sport, work-related tasks, or even household chores. Include these activities in your daily routine.
Focus On The Details
Some research has emerged showing that focusing on the non-emotional details of a memory can reduce the distress associated with ruminating.
For example, if Bill has a difficult time not thinking about the day his boss fired him in front of his family and friends at the company picnic, he could focus instead on the weather, the food that was served, how many and what types of trees were in the park, the dog that chased everyone during the sack race, and so forth.
Researchers would call this a ‘focus on context.’
A 2014 study by Dolcus and Denkova showed that “…when participants were focused on the context of the event, brain regions involved in basic emotion processing were working together with emotion control regions in order to, in the end, reduce the emotional impact of these memories.”
The take away lesson is when you must ruminate, attempt to shift your attention to details that are not directly attached to the painful emotion that is center stage in your memory (or of your ruminative expectations). This will largely involve looking for details that answer ‘what’ and ‘where’ questions.
Think of yourself as the set designer involved with a movie production. You are not tasked with understanding the plot. Nor do you need to understand the motives of the characters. Casting various actors? Again, none of your business.
Your job is to solely focus on the details of the set.
Leave everything else alone.
The same applies to focusing on the details of your ruminations. Stick with the ‘what’ and ‘where’ questions and see if that helps.
Conclusion
Don’t remain trapped by painful thoughts of past events, or equally distressing expectations about the future. This clouds your vision, craters your optimism, and prevents you from making the most of the present.
Apply yourself diligently to using the four methods described above. It may take a little time to gain momentum, but with constant application nearly everyone sees progress. Once that happens, you’ll want to continue, and the world will start to open in ways that are difficult to imagine when rumination is your constant companion.
