The Road That Leads To Happiness

A soft, easy life is not worth living, if it impairs the fibre of brain and heart and muscle. We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage... For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.

Theodore Roosevelt

The sign on the back of the rusty old VW bus read “If it feels good… do it!”

What an appealing idea. Carefree and uninhibited gratification.

For some, this mantra is so attractive that it morphs into a lifestyle aimed toward building the happiest life possible.

On the face of it this makes sense. If you wish to live a happy life, then simply do that which brings pleasure.

Such an approach to life is not new. A student of Socrates’ named Aristippus (435 BCE) developed it into a philosophy about what makes for a richly rewarding life. He concluded that a good life was one in which pleasure is maximized and pain minimized. This was called ‘hedonism.’  

But research on happiness shows that a hedonistic lifestyle doesn’t deliver on its promise.

Aristippus misunderstood the nature of the human psyche, and consequently developed a misguided prescription. What he failed to appreciate is that people require more than pleasure in order to thrive. Just as a body requires more than pleasant-tasting food for optimal health.

What hedonism misses is that people are most happy when they have a sense of purpose.

When men and women identify their purpose in life, it results in their viewing everyday interactions and sacrifices as being imbued with significance.  As a result, happiness grows.

The ancient Greeks called this ‘eudemonic’ happiness. You can think of it as happiness with deep roots.

The Cost of Deep Happiness

If happiness that is deeply rooted comes from living a purpose-driven life, what does it cost to win this prize?

The answer to that question becomes clear when considering what’s required to seriously pursue a meaningful purpose. Other competing interests and desires must be ignored, and almost invariably a certain degree of pain must be endured.

For example, if one’s purpose is to bring joy to others by dancing in a professional ballet company, that individual will have very few hours free to relax.  Sore muscles and blistered feet will be their constant companion.

If soldiering is one’s purpose in the pursuit of safeguarding your country's freedom, then that person will sacrifice many of the freedoms that others take for granted. Multiple deployments away from family will also await them, as well as numerous cold, rain-soaked nights outdoors.

Although it may seem counterintuitive to suggest that the road to real happiness runs through a gauntlet of privation and sacrifice, research, suggests otherwise.

Living a life of purpose requires generosity in that it demands that a person subjugate his or her desires (and at times their wellbeing) in the service of something greater. This is the very opposite of the “If it feels good do it” prescription for happiness.

What Is Required To Succeed?

Across the nearly infinite types of purpose one may pursue in life, all will require tenacity, grit, and a commensurate level of skill. Undergirding each of these will be a sense of duty. An unshakable conviction that one is obligated to pursue the path on which their purpose leads them.

When a strong conviction is missing that it is your duty to pursue your purpose, staying the course becomes nearly impossible.

Self-doubt creeps in and gains a foothold in your mind.

Seductive excuses for wavering from the path crop up more frequently.

Setbacks weigh more heavily than they should.

Stew Smith, former Navy SEAL and personal coach for those going into Special Forces selection has summarized the importance of this quality by stating that the mental attitude of “I would rather die than quit” as the single biggest factor that separates the successful Special Forces applicants from those that withdraw.

Giving yourself wholeheartedly to duty can be intimidating. But the rewards are great. When you place yourself on the anvil of duty, submitting to the hammer of discipline and the sacrifices that fulfilling your duty entails, your character becomes refined, shaped, and strengthened. This is most true when the duty to which you have harnessed your commitment is a high and noble calling.

Anyone can make this choice. It is independent of status, finances, education, or geography. Everyone has the opportunity to pursue a high and noble path.

What’s more, over time you will find that this leads you to be infinitely happier than those who have spent years chasing one pleasure after another.

The bottom line is that everyone has a purpose to pursue in life. Don’t wait. Find yours now and start down the path towards its fulfillment.

Click for free online screening of:

100% Confidential