Building An Anxiety/Depression Resistent Life
For the most part, the advice that is given to help people reduce anxiety and depression takes aim at either the symptoms, or the causes, of those two mental states.
I have no quarrel with that approach. In fact, it makes a lot of sense. If, for example, you had a headache, then you would want a solution that took aim at reducing the pain (symptom reduction), or one that ‘fixed’ the underlying cause of the pain.
This same logic holds when people seek help for dealing with anxiety and depression.
But there is a problem with this approach. It can lead to blind spots. Overlooking effective solutions because they appear less directly related to the problem one is focused upon - quickly resolving anxiety or depression.
By way of analogy, let’s look at the example of having a toothache. You visit the dentist and learn that you need a root canal due to the damage created by an infection to the root.
The procedure is scheduled (focusing on dealing with the cause), and you are given painkillers (dealing with the symptoms) to see you through until the following day when the root canal is scheduled.
If this was the entirety of what your dentist recommended, it would leave out an important step. Examining your oral hygiene routine and making sure that you have the knowledge you need to maintain a routine of brushing, flossing, etc., that minimizes future infections.
We do the same thing in my field. That is, we become so focused on resolving the immediate pain of anxiety and depression that we often overlook the bigger picture of how our patients’ approach to life more generally has resulted in their current distress.
There is ample research to support the assertion that certain lifestyles, relationship styles and ways of thinking predispose people to depression and anxiety. By carefully working with patients to examine these aspects of their life we can often help them make changes that reduce the chances of future anxiety and depression.
Helping patients learn to build habits that lead to living a more rewarding and meaningful life is particularly important.
The reason this is beneficial is that anxiety and depression have a difficult time thriving when someone intentionally directs their energies toward that which brings about a sense of purpose, deep engagement, progress and satisfaction.
The activities that generate this type of emotional resilience vary from one person to the next, but nearly everyone has some set of interests that can be activated in order to achieve these results.
It’s just a matter of taking the time to identify the activities that uniquely resonate with you.
I’ve found that most people have several interests and activities that fill this niche. For some it will be charity work, for others it will be art, still others will look to broader community involvement, or the exercise of their faith, and so forth.
But again, for most people there is more than one path. This is important because for this approach to work in reducing anxiety and depression, several pathways need to be mobilized.
By employing multiple activities/interests you are increase the power of this process.
Steps For Building An Anti-Anxiety/Depression Regime
When I work with clients using this approach, we take a great deal of time exploring the variety of activities in which they currently engage, as well as activities from the past. We then develop a list that my patient describing how satisfying the activity is and how easily it could be engaged in on a weekly basis (e.g., going to Jujitsu and going parasailing may be equally rewarding, but the former is much easier to do on a weekly basis).
After reviewing the list and making these sorts of assessments a handful of activities are selected. I recommend selecting four activities but there is no special number that needs to be aimed for, only that it is more than one and provides a deep sense of well being (PRO TIP: It’s best if one or more activity involves helping others).
The rubber meets the road at this point. The activities my patient selected are then scheduled into his/her week and acted on… there are no consolation points given for putting something on the ‘To Do’ list but then ignoring it.
Most of the time, it takes a little tweaking of the schedule to get real momentum going, but once that happens, it doesn’t take long to see real progress. Anxiety and depression begin to recede.
Take note… they begin to ‘recede’ not disappear. We want to be realistic.
This is not an overnight fix. Results most often occur within two to four weeks, but it can take longer than that for one to see the full impact of this lifestyle change on anxiety and depression.
DIY: Build Your Own Anti-Anxiety/Depression Regime
You can use a similar approach to the one I just described using when I work with patients.
First, take some time to relax and think about the activities you engage in that promote a sense of stability, interpersonal connectedness and wellbeing. Perhaps you do these activities frequently, or rarely. It does not matter, just note what they are.
Here is a short list of the sort of activities that many people find encourages a sense of wellbeing:
· Time with family
· Time with friends
· Creative expression
· Actively engaging in faith life (e.g., Bible study, prayer, volunteering at church,
attending church services)
· Enjoying the outdoors
· Exercise/sports
· Intellectually stimulating activities
· Music (either listening to or creating)
Now come up with your own list and then select four activities from that inventory. These should be activities that you are capable of doing each week, and are important to you (even if they would not be important to anyone else).
The next step is to schedule times throughout the week during which you will engage in each of these activities. Not all at once, of course, but each of them at different times.
As an example you may have chosen the following activities:
· Time with family
· Faith life
· Exercise
· Nature
Terrific! You’re on your way to feeling better and reducing your anxiety. With those four activities in mind you might schedule family time for Tuesday nights (a board game night) and Saturday afternoon (going to the park, movies, a BBQ at home, etc.).
For engagement in faith you would include going to church on Sunday and also put on your calendar personal Bible study each morning at 6:00 AM for 15 minutes.
Exercise would be scheduled in a similar way as would getting out into nature at least once a week.
After two or three weeks it’s time to review your list again. This is when you make a judgement about how well these activities are working toward providing a greater sense of well-being and emotional rootedness.
If you conclude that overall you’re headed in the right direction then don’t change a thing. Continue for another month and then do another self-assessment.
On the other hand, if you are not making any progress at all within the first two weeks it’s time to replace one or two of the activities with alternatives.
Be ready to experiment, and don’t give up if the first couple attempts don’t lead to a decrease in your anxiety or depression.
Note: This approach to anxiety and depression, just like other interventions described elsewhere in this website, may not be appropriate for you. Talk with your counselor or physician prior to implementing if you have any concerns.
