PRP: Politics, Relationships, Perspective
The election cycle has ended, the dust is settling, rhetoric is cooling and unfortunately some relationships are being severed in the aftermath. ‘Mental health experts’ have shown up on major television networks advocating for ending relationships (or temporarily separating) if the voting preference of your family member/friend was different from your own.
Such advice should be examined closely before taking it to heart. For most people, after all, relationships are at the very core of a happy and purpose-filled life. Is it wise to sacrifice the bond you have with someone on the alter of political differences?
Some will respond that the political choices their friend or family member made with their vote betray a view of life that is so abhorrent that they simply cannot tolerate the person any longer.
If that describes your thinking, then I encourage you to reconsider. Is it really likely that only now, only after election day, you’ve come to realize what the political leanings are of this other person?
It is only after they cast a vote in the recent election that you saw them as being politically left or right?
Seems unlikely.
If we are talking about an acquaintance, then maybe. But in the case of family members or friends you have known for some time, this is unlikely.
What is more probable is that you, like many, have become caught up in the emotions attached to major political elections. These affairs have become emotional mud fests. Opponents are painted with the most stark and dire rhetoric. Voting for one party or the other means the end of civilization, and opposing candidates are referred to as “crazy”, “nuts” and “Nazis.”
Building Grudges Versus Showing Grace
This super-heated rhetoric polarizes the public and moves politics beyond the realm of simply distinguishing between two different views on governance. Instead, what happens with this sort of language is that political choices become framed as a benchmark of voter’s character and motives.
Will you align with the forces of light or darkness? Freedom versus oppression? Love versus hate?
This type of bifurcation makes distancing oneself from certain friends and family members much easier. They have, after all, aligned themselves with something that approaches evil.
But if we take a step back, it is easier to see, more often than not, that this conclusion is unwarranted. We may judge the other person’s reasoning as flawed and their agenda as misguided, but we can also see that they had no intent to promote a malevolent agenda.
All of which is to say that in this current climate of superheated political rhetoric it would be wise not to make decisions about ending important relationships. This same rule applies more generally, and most people take it as being obvious: do not make major decisions when your feelings run high.
Perspective
Each of us will inevitably have differences with our most intimate friends and family. Sometimes these differences will create conflict. Such is life.
It is helpful, however, to realize that these conflicts can be placed into one of several categories. This includes those differences that simple revolve around amicable disagreements (e.g., Fall is better than Summer).
Then there are differences important enough to debate about (e.g., giving to charity is a moral mandate versus not something that is ethically required).
And finally, there are those differences that are so important we will divide or go our separate ways if they cannot be bridged (e.g., fidelity is not essential in our marriage versus fidelity is situationally dependent).
Politics, for the most part, falls within the second category. Don’t risk damaging your relationships by mistakenly thinking it belongs in the third category. The character of your friends and family members is reflected with far more fidelity by how they live their lives than by how they cast their votes. If their life reflects a character that had not caused you to cut ties with them before, it would be a mistake to do so now.
