Practical insights and advice regarding anxiety, depression, trauma, parenting and more.
Pulling back the curtain on those secret places of the heart is both exciting and painful. Vulnerability is required. This is the price that must be paid to seize the prize of deep and mature intimacy with another.
Most men and women yearn for this type of connection. This in turn makes it a very odd thing that despite the value with which such intimacy is held so few people appear to understand how to build it, and just as important, how it can be maintained.
Most adults find themselves settling down at some point in a committed relationship, and yet some choose to avoid any significant commitment to a partner. There are four common reasons that people are “commitment phobic.” If you are wondering why your current partner won’t commit (or why you’ve never managed to commit to any of your own past partners), the answer is likely one of the four reasons explained here.
Antidepressants are a commonly relied upon solution to help reduce the symptoms of depression. But many people do not respond well to these medications, and many more experience significant side effects. Research shows that there is an alternative that is free of side effects, and equally effective in combating depression. This alternative is far too often overlooked, despite the impressive body of research that supports its power to diminish depression.
Relying on the standard of “Did I enjoy myself?” for determining whether to continue to date someone is insane. It means relegating these decisions to your limbic system (your lizard brain). When was the last time you asked a reptile for help in making a decision? You see my point. To steer your dating life in a more satisfying direction it is important to minimize the influence of the lizard and rely instead on your frontal cortex. The logical operating center of your brain.
Apologies play an important function in relationship repair because they serve as a first step in rebuilding a bridge that has been burnt. They express a wish to heal a wound that has been inflicted. An effective apology goes a long way to achieving these ends. A poorly crafted apology creates a wider chasm of hurt and mistrust.
Healthy intimacy combines a sense of belonging with a sense of being deeply appreciated and desired. Because healthy intimacy involves being prized despite your flaws and shortcomings, this depth of belonging is rare. It requires building a sturdy foundation of trust, a prerequisite for genuine self-disclosure. This process is risky and consequently, time-consuming. Many people, however, try to take shortcuts. They substitute…
Teens, known for being anxious and insecure, are given the opportunity through smartphones and social media to relentlessly compare themselves to idealized versions of their peers. At the same time as they judge themselves to be failing in this regard, the same technology also opens a portal for them to be bullied and criticized by peers throughout the day. In the pre-smartphone era, a teenager’s home could be a ‘safe’ place free from the influence of negative evaluations by peers at school. No longer.
Working with a psychotherapist requires a significant investment of time, energy and money. Knowing that your efforts in counseling are leading to success is important. But sometimes it is difficult to judge whether progress is being made. This is particularly true if you have no previous experience with psychotherapy.
The ability to forgive others is key to maintaining healthy relationships and having a happy life. How to go about forgiving others, however, is difficult. In part because what it means to forgive is often wrong and includes some mistaken notion that forgiveness means you pretend that what another person did was not really all that bad. Or that forgiveness involves immediately acting as though the person who was forgiven can now be thoroughly trusted. Neither of these ideas is true….
Deep happiness has been shown to act as a protective factor against both anxiety and depression. Happier people who have not yet found success are more likely to be successful later in life than their unhappy counterparts. Many people seek out happiness by focusing on the search for immediate pleasure, and consequently never achieve real happiness. This can be fixed by...
Selecting a therapist for your child or teen can be confusing. Parents need to figure out not only whether a therapist has the skills to help, but can they be trusted to keep mom and dad ‘in the loop’ about important matters, be supportive of the parents’ priorities, and more. Choosing the wrong therapist can lead to months of wasted time, squandered expenses and possibly a worsening of the youngster’s mental state.
Is it possible for families to make it through the teen years without the home becoming an emotional war zone? The short answer is yes if everyone is properly prepared. Read on for 11 tips on how parents and teens can prepare for the challenges of adolescence and make the teen years happy and less drama-filled for everyone at home.
I’ve worked with many patients who had grown so accustomed to being anxious that they assumed this state of mind was fixed… forever. Part of the permanent furniture of their life. One of the most difficult parts of helping them was having them realize that this was not true. They could become much less anxious and enjoy much more of life. Without medication! One way of doing this that works with many people is
People who commit or attempt suicide often report feeling hopeless. Struggling with emotional turmoil, feeling helpless to bring about a solution, the suicidal person most often simply wants to escape the pain that unceasingly presses in on them from all sides. Contrary to popular opinion, they are not looking to obtain heaven. Their primary wish is to escape the hell of their current experience.
Money plays a major role in each person’s mental life. For some, it is a measure of success., for others a deep source of security and stability. It can be used to fulfill dreams as well as everyday needs. Given the personal and practical importance attached to money it is little wonder so many couples find it a source of marital acrimony.
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