Practical insights and advice regarding anxiety, depression, trauma, parenting and more.
Anxiety can get in the way of achieving important goals. One of these goals is something nearly everyone shares: building a healthy, long-lasting, intimate relationship with someone with whom they will share a lifetime of experiences. Instead of remaining frustrated with a series of failed romances that have been sabotaged by anxiety, wouldn’t it be better to learn how to tame these fears and then enjoy what you’ve long sought after?
Rejection sensitive people deeply wish to establish rewarding intimate relationships, but they are convinced that potential partners will in some way hurt or betray them. Consequently they misread the behavior of their love interests, reading too much into what are in fact innocent gaffs or clumsy statements. These misunderstandings lead to conflict, and the eventual end of the relationship.
Most adults find themselves settling down at some point in a committed relationship, and yet some choose to avoid any significant commitment to a partner. There are four common reasons that people are “commitment phobic.” If you are wondering why your current partner won’t commit (or why you’ve never managed to commit to any of your own past partners), the answer is likely one of the four reasons explained here.
Relying on the standard of “Did I enjoy myself?” for determining whether to continue to date someone is insane. It means relegating these decisions to your limbic system (your lizard brain). When was the last time you asked a reptile for help in making a decision? You see my point. To steer your dating life in a more satisfying direction it is important to minimize the influence of the lizard and rely instead on your frontal cortex. The logical operating center of your brain.
Apologies play an important function in relationship repair because they serve as a first step in rebuilding a bridge that has been burnt. They express a wish to heal a wound that has been inflicted. An effective apology goes a long way to achieving these ends. A poorly crafted apology creates a wider chasm of hurt and mistrust.
Healthy intimacy combines a sense of belonging with a sense of being deeply appreciated and desired. Because healthy intimacy involves being prized despite your flaws and shortcomings, this depth of belonging is rare. It requires building a sturdy foundation of trust, a prerequisite for genuine self-disclosure. This process is risky and consequently, time-consuming. Many people, however, try to take shortcuts. They substitute…
People who commit or attempt suicide often report feeling hopeless. Struggling with emotional turmoil, feeling helpless to bring about a solution, the suicidal person most often simply wants to escape the pain that unceasingly presses in on them from all sides. Contrary to popular opinion, they are not looking to obtain heaven. Their primary wish is to escape the hell of their current experience.
Money plays a major role in each person’s mental life. For some, it is a measure of success., for others a deep source of security and stability. It can be used to fulfill dreams as well as everyday needs. Given the personal and practical importance attached to money it is little wonder so many couples find it a source of marital acrimony.
Being overly dependent on the approval of others leads to a life of worry. Looking over your shoulder to sure that no one is angry with you. Suppressing your own desires, goals, and opinions for the sake of pleasing others. Learning how to throw off the weight of these anxieties, however, opens the door to deeper friendships, more interesting adventures, and a much more fulfilling life.
Many parents struggle to find ways to help when their teen is anxious. This is especially true when the teen is beset by chronic or severe anxiety. Victoria Chialy Smith is a psychologist who has helped many parents and teens resolve these difficult moments. In this article she spells out five ways that parents can effectively help their teens break free from anxiety.
The odds are you’ve wrestled with relationship anxiety at some time in your life. This is true of most people. And that’s OK. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. For most people, this anxiety arises briefly and then recedes. A bump in the road. But for some folks, it is much more than that and instead becomes a huge stumbling block with life-changing consequences. Fortunately, you can change all of that by following some simple steps.
It is common for parents to get so busy caring for their children and attending to the countless duties that come with being “Mom and Dad” that they neglect their marriage. In fact, the parents’ marriage is the foundation of family, and investing in their relationship with each other is one of the best things parents can do for their children.
Getting married is easy. Staying married is much harder. Remaining married and being happy is harder yet. Of the many topics that create conflict in a marriage money ranks near the top of the list. You can avoid many of the arguments and stress that money causes in marriage if you take a few common sense steps prior to saying “I do.”
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